Joke Pass

CD Mohatta asked:


Try this longer joke:

And elderly couple were having trouble remembering things so they decided to go see their doctor, and they explained their concern. The doctor checked them out and said, “Well, you’re pretty healthy for your ages. It’s normal to get a little forgetful as you get older. You might want to start writing things down.”

So they were relieved it wasn’t serious and they went home. That night while they were watching television, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the kitchen,” he replied.

“Will you bring me a bowl of ice cream?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said.

She asked, “Well, shouldn’t you write it down?”

“I’ll remember.”

“Well I’d like it with some strawberries on top. Shouldn’t you write it down?” she asked.

“No, I can remember that.”

“I want whipped cream, too. I know you’ll forget. Please write it down,” she said.

Getting angry, he snapped, “I don’t need to write it down!”

Twenty minutes later he returned with bacon and eggs and handed it to her. She stared at her plate a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”

To remember this longer joke, break it down into it’s parts. There are three parts. In the first part, the couple goes to see the doctor. You can tell the details any way you like, so long as you include that the doctor tells them to write things down so they don’t forget.

In the second part, the husband is going to the kitchen. His wife wants three things. That’s really all you need to remember. It could be a strawberry Sunday or anything else that he will bring back for her.

In the third part, he brings back something different, she says he forgot something but it is not any of the things she originally asked for. This is what makes it funny.

Now practice the joke as you did before. Remember that there are three parts. It’s okay to substitute different foods or tell the conversation differently. When you can remember it without looking back to it, call someone and tell your joke.

Practice will help you to remember jokes. Try a new one each day until you are comfortable. You will have fun making others laugh.

nlwest21 asked:


Not many categories of jokes have a history or background. We don’t know who started them or why they were started. Or we do - but they are very basic. For example we have blonde jokes to make fun of women with blonde hair because we feel that many of them are or act like they don’t know anything. We make fun of lawyers because well…that’s a story we won’t get into right now.

 

Surprisingly enough when it comes to yo mama jokes they come with a very interesting background. Yo mama jokes are also referred to as ‘the dozens’ and is an tradition among African Americans in which two people (that are usually guys) will compete against each other in trash talking. This trash talking is all in good fun and in the middle of it are their mothers.

 

The two competitors will go back and forth and try to come up with the best comeback jokes against the other person’s mother until someone gives up in defeat. Playing the dozens using yo mama jokes is played to see who is has the better mental toughness and mental agility. Each joke that is used makes it that much more difficult for the other to respond with a comeback.

 

If you listen closely to these jokes and when two are competing against each other you will notice a hint of elements that are often used to create many hip hop songs called ‘battling’.

 



 



 

Usually yo mama jokes are used to poke fun at others and no one takes it personal. However, there are times when people do it to be personal. When this happens people start to become very angry and in most cases it will end with some type of violent act. But in its best form the dozens is just purely verbal sparring.

 

Yo mama jokes are just one example of the dozens game. They are very cryptic, short, and in most cases downright hilarious. Other times the fathers, sisters, brothers, or even wives will be the object of attention.

Amit Kishore Verma asked:


Humour and jokes is not only relieving stress, but also enrich your life and keeps you in touch with friends and family. The fluctuation of emotional state, low blood sugar, heart disease, overactive thyroid and is also considered by science to some effects of stress. What makes a thing of such complexity that stress is actually different from person to person. There are people who might not be comfortable sharing their emotions with others, regardless of how they are close to the person. Writing about what happened during the day is a self-cleaning of all the worries over a hard day’s work.

The fast pace of the world clouded by the pressures of work and they demands the humour and jokes compounds in life. Therefore, such websites have been a booming sector in recent years because people are made to believe that their use of services is the only effective way to increase humour and jokes in life. However, it is not necessary to participate in an activity splurging money to get humour and jokes. Take every opportunity to the millions of dollars flash smile. However, too much, it could yield negative emotional, physical and mental effects of a person.

A very inspiring book can create a sense of lightness and motivation of a person. Studies show that 40% of people who have heart disease are less likely to be inclined to laugh. As funny as it appears in, humour and jokes is the cheapest and easiest way to relieve stress. Joking with friends, watching funny movies or TV shows and reading funny cartoons are cheap and fun solutions to stress. Stress may be part of daily life, but this is not necessarily synonymous with grace and let it take over. Accentuating the positive is one way to cope. After all, stress is not what happens is how we react to it.

Recent studies at the University of Baltimore have shown that people who have humour and jokes are less likely to have heart disease. In addition, people with heart disease are 40% less likely to humour and jokes compared to the fate of these people without heart problems. If this is true, the very elixir which could solve a serious health condition related to heart is the prime condition of the act of laughing at jokes really funny. This is particularly important for those who do not have time to exercise or do physical activities. Laughing also prevents hypertension because it reduces the likelihood of stress. It relaxes muscles and reduces the supply of dopamine in the blood.

Knowing all this, how can you practice the habit of humour and jokes to keep from heart attack? The maintenance of a light-hearted provision is essential in preventing heart attacks. Whenever the stress began keeping in the think of these situations can reduce your stress and anxiety. humour and jokes not only produce natural laughter, but also help maintain good mental health. Therefore in every day hard working life humour and jokes is not only necessary to make laughter in your life, it also keeps you fit in the life.

Rahul Roy asked:


Good jokes don’t come along all the often which is why, when they do, they must be carefully looked after. I sometimes ask people, if they have heard any good jokes lately? And do you know how they often answer, “Oh, I can never remember jokes!”

In fact, you could tell me the same joke over and over and I’d never remember the punch line until you got there. At least I got more than one laugh out of it. Mostly long jokes last for only some minute of laughter and they are gone away. Whereas short funny jokes are always remembered and if some one asks you to tell funny jokes then you would start from it.

I also had a great problem of never to remember a joke. So every time in some gatherings with my friends and families, I was forced to remain silent as I had no any funny material to crake it out.

I felt a little left out. I wanted to tell jokes too. Jokes are a way of making a person smile. It’s a way of sharing with each other. If you tell a joke well, they’ll remember you with a smile.

Then I found a very good idea to remember some of the short funny jokes and crake them within some gatherings with my friends and families. It was really easy to remember short jokes and can also be made better with your own version.

Here are some of the short funny jokes to enjoy:

A cop stops a drunken man and asks: Where you going?

He replies: “I’m going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism.”

Cop says: “At night? And who will give a lecture?”

“My wife and mother-in-law!” replies the drunken man.

———————–

Sam: Would you punish me for some thing I didn’t do?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Sam: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

———————–

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don’t know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

———————–

These were some of the short funny jokes. There are many websites providing short funny jokes on web. You can read some and crake them within your friends and families.

nlwest21 asked:


Joseph Addison declared “One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter.” Do you know a lot of your coworkers in your office might think there to old or wise to take a moment to laugh while there at work. This doesn’t sound like good office behavior but we can fix it with good clean jokes that you can use without breaking any office rules.

If many of you were asked “What is a joke?” Would you be able to directly answer the question? Most of us would probably answer this question with a joke. Seems like a joke isn’t quite something you just hear but experience instead - the experience in most cases called laughter. Now some of you are thinking that every time you heard a joke you didn’t always experience laughter. This maybe because the jokes was crude or not crude enough depending on what your preference is. If your like me most crude jokes are offending whether I laugh or not. But not to worry there are many resources out there for less crude jokes referred to as clean jokes as opposed to the opposite called dirty jokes.

Now we can also take a look at humor. What is humor you ask? Humor is an emotion you feel maybe when there is something funny happen or even when see some thing happen and laugh at it even if its not funny. This is called finding the humor. Just like jokes different types of humor can be clean or dirty.

Why do we categorize them clean and dirty? Well the are lots of reasons but the most obvious reason is clean jokes normally fall into the G to GP rating area that are safe for a young audience. Why do we need clean jokes? Clean jokes are important because everybody needs a laugh sometimes. In some places such as work or family oriented gatherings dirty jokes are viewed as inappropriate.

The great thing about finding good clean jokes is that you can share them with other people without the fear of offending them in any way. In fact you may just be able to put a smile on each of their faces. The next time you find a great clean joke pin it up in your office or e-mail to all of your friends and family.